The kindest thing you can do...

Perhaps the single life lesson, that has taken the longest for me to learn, is the necessity of being a bitch...occasionally.

Being a proponent of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you", it had never previously occured to me that being a bitch could EVERRR, be appropriate behaviour. In fact, it has always been of utmost importance to me to be kind, generous and giving - as that is exactly how I want to be treated. And yet I can see now that I was naive and that I didn't fully understand the law of reciprocity. By treating others well, I expected to be treated well in return, and granted, when that didn't happen, I would take the high road and let it go. I didn't like it, but I accepted it.

However, it occured to me very recently that this "unconditional" love so to speak, is not always appropriate nor does it serve humanity, because there are some people who are cronically offensive, negative and even hateful. Being kind to these monsters actually feeds their negative energy.

After watching Sandra Bullock in The Proposal, I became facinated and even obsessed, with her character's unwavering nastiness....I actually admired this! Of course her character went to the extreme and it was so absurd that it became tears-in-my-eyes hilarious - as it was meant to be! And yet it caused me to question whether perhaps I shouldn't occassionally assume a smidgent of her character's disposition of verbally offensive and cold behaviour, as a panacea for dealing with unpleasant creatures. I decided that indeed during certain isolated instances, when I find myself faced with a repugnant individual who has no moral compass guiding him/her to appropriately interact with human beings: that it would be appropriate and dignified to respond with a retaliatory repertoire of every linguistic munition in my coffer.

The more I pondered this, the more I felt justifiably that, a synonymous response to such an individual was not only warranted, but humane even, given that one learns most effectively, from personal experience.

Hence, I set out the following Monday morning, with the clear intention of unleashing my new heroine-inspired behaviour, upon all disagreeable tyrants that crossed my path that week.

Rather quickly, I was given two opportunities to act out my desired role, and the responses confirmed my theory. One sour, unevolved individual who ooozed contempt and whom everyone (myself included) dreaded interacting with, was reduced to stuttering and stammering when confronted with my newfound demeaner. Another equally unpleasant character was so taken aback with my unwavering acerbic retorts, that he too was left speechless and retreated from the demands, that he was attempting to enforce.

I confirmed that day, that to truly be impervious from the toxic negative energy that some so naturally emit, I would need to adopt some of the very characteristics that I deplored. This didn't initially sit well with me until I viewed it from a more strategic global perspective. I understood then that to serve and protect the kind and the generous, from the harsh malignant verbal discharge of hostile individuals with whom we share this planet, that I would occassionally be required to behave in a manner best described as a total bitch - super-hero style.

Hence my conclusion; sometimes being a bitch is the kindest thing you can do.

......anybody with me on this one?

Age appropriate dressing? Indeed!

I read the most absurd and insulting article today on the internet. It was about age appropriate dressing.

It would seem that someone who is probably talented, educated and insightful in other topics, was given the task of writing an article to help guide women on how to dress appropriately for their age.

Now I would think that women made it quite clear many years ago that we were going to dress as we damned well pleased......period!

Remember burning ill-fitting bras? Ditching utilitarian garters (not the sexy ones) for pantyhose? Leading the way and being brave enough to don the first mini skirts? It took alot of courage to get where we are today!

I still remember when one would only dare to wear what was in style that season. Mini's or midi's, but never both. To say it was restrictive and uncreative, would be an understatement. It's been such a long journey to get here today, where we can wear pretty much whatever we want - whatever suits our body.

Case in point... today it is acceptable to wear either 6 inch platform shoes, 4 inch stilettos, flat ballerina's, or, Doc Marten's - with; a mini skirt, blue jeans or a suit.

This is a freedom that we do not want to give up!!! Ladies, let's unite on this!

Reject statements such as this one, which was written for women in their 50s.."clean lines and fuss-free pieces in a simple palette". What does this mean? A simple palette?!?!

Coco, would be rolling over in her trademark; Diamond-Stitch-lined coffin...if she read that! Really?! Is a beautiful woman who has reached 50 in one marvelous piece, suddenly supposed to don clothing that will render her invisible/impotent? Why!? To satisfy those who overindulge in chocolate while at their keyboards?

The article/advice goes on further to say that if you're 50 and want to wear a mini skirt, to be prepared to have some raised eyebrows. And I don't think the implication was that the raised eyebrows were to be in admiration. Shame, shame, shame.

Alas, for those in their 60s....it gets worse! Apparently "Tweed suits, trousers, and coatdresses" will dominate their closets! Frankly if that's what's in store for me then I'd rather just skip the 60s and go straight to the 70s where "looking dignified and distinguished", suddenly becomes of the "utmost importance", (now here's the only part I like), "and that means splurging on a little luxury. Fabrics should be of the highest quality, and tailoring should be precise".

Frankly I'm not sure I care to wear "dignified and distinguished". I want you to really think about this and ask yourself if you want your wardrobe to scream "look at me, I'm dignified and distinguished!". Gentlemen wear that very well, but ladies... stick to "glamourous and timeless".

And I ask you, who the hell wants to wait until they are 70, to splurge on a little luxury? For pete's sake! Buy outfits made of fabrics of the highest quality - NOW! If you do they will last you for 20, 30, 40+ years, so you'll get more wear out of them. Chanel's fabrics are of the upmost quality - those outfits last for decades, that's why they are so expensive. They last, and last, and last.

My advice - wear what you love. Wear what makes you feel beautiful, and you will stay beautiful.

10 Ways to Lose 10 lbs in 10 Days

T'is the season for giving, so I have chosen to do just that, by sharing all my weight loss secrets. To maintain my small dress size, I follow these 10 steps;

10 Ways to Lose 10 lbs in 10 days!!

1. Take 50% of total grocery budget, and spend it on clothes.
2. To make mealtime fun, engage in a food fight till plate is empty.
3. Never eat anything white.
4. Remove heavy jewellry.
5. Do Colon Hydrotherapy, everyday, for 10 days.
6. Visit any public facility that is having an outbreak of flu.
7. Eliminate sugar, dairy, white flour and food, from diet.
8. If you must have chocolate, have ExLax.
9. Chew 50 times, but never swallow! Use a spitoon.
10. Take the other 50% of grocery budget, and spend it on footwear.


This has worked for me for decades! Please email me with your success stories.

What the color of your car says about you

Sometime ago, I happened to drive by a neighbor's house, and noticed that they were having a social gathering. What caught my eye was that, of the two dozen cars that were parked for this event, all of them were silver. As these neighbor's were Professors at a local University, I concluded that the preferred colour of vehicle for Academic-types, was silver.
I began to create a mental list of people I knew who owned silver cars. Sure enough most of them were highly intelligent and educated individuals, with a liberal outlook. So I felt comfortable with my analysis.
I then began to take notes on all colours of cars, and the drivers behind the wheels.
It wasn't long before I began to see that certain colours definately attracted certain personality types. My curiosity kept me studying this for well over a year. And these are my observations mixed with my personal opinion on personalities most likely to drive vehicles of a certain colour.

Red is quite obvious. People who buy red cars, tend to be loud, gregarious, flamboyant, full of life/energy, conscious of their appearance yet confident enough to make bold fashion statements. They live for the moment and carve out their own path in life.

Orange, attracts the very eccentric and extreme personalities.

Black is a colour that attracts those who care the most about appearances. They spend time on their appearance - lots of it. Their lifestyles either are glamourous, or they are working toward that end. Often people who own black cars are successful and fashionable, so this colour is also attractive to wanna-be's.

Green is an interesting colour for a vehicle. I find that people who drive green cars are an enigma, even sometimes to themselves. They like obscurity, or simply to be left alone. The idea of driving a vehicle that does not scream status symbol (or tones down, said status symbol) attracts them. Few fashionista's will sit behind the wheel of a green car, unless they are purposely trying to avoid the paparazzi.

Gold (The other metallic), is a colour that attracts philanthopists. People who dress in classic, timeless or simple but neat/clean styles, favor a gold car. These people have 'arrived' but are low-key.

Browns/Beiges. Here is a colour for the down to earth (what else?) People who choose this colour are economically stable, and feel that they have nothing to prove.

Yellow. People who drive yellow cars are screaming for attention, (and they get it)! They enjoy living on the edge and breaking all the rules. Their element is being the focal point of any "party"....anything less and they move on.

Blue. Those who choose this color are the progressive, reformists. One would naturally think they would be conservative, and if they are it is only in politics, for in life, these people love change and have a wild side (which they try to suppress). This color like red, attracts hedonists, the difference is in their blatanality.

White is the most difficult to peg. People who drive white cars hail from the entire spectrum of the population. There seems to be no connecting trait. No tell-tale commonality. They can be a provincial or an elitist. What I do believe is that people drive white cars during a period of transition, and usually are not "lifers"...that is; sticking with white forever.